Reblogged from fuckyeahlgbt; Via this Craigslist post:
A mutual friend of ours threw a big party for her 30th birthday, tons of people were there and it was a lot of fun. Somewhere along the line you and I ended up on the balcony for some fresh air at the same time. We started chatting; we talked about sports, books, tv – discovered we both are about to start our masters degrees and spent some time debating the pro’s and con’s of the educational system. We talked about hanging out sometime, and you wanted to meet my girlfriend.
I understand how upsetting it was for you when I blinked mildly in surprise and said I was here with my husband. I know it was a shock to your system, if your face had turned any paler I might have called 911. You made a good recovery though - that hurried mutter of “I’m not like that” was very polite and you only knocked over two drinks and one vase in your hurry to rush to anywhere other than near me. I can’t blame you – I forgot how delicate you straight boys are. So I wanted to give you a few helpful hints about where you went wrong last night.
1) As a general rule we don’t walk around with big signs around our neck proclaiming our sexuality. No scarlet letters, no scent of hellfire and brimstone… sorry about that.
2) We do not generally assume that everyone within 5 feet of us must also be homosexual – it was nice of you to immediately reassure me that you are hetero, but it was really unnecessary.
3) Homosexuality is not infectious. While I am sure you meant no disrespect with your hasty departure; in the future you can rest assured that taking a few extra seconds in your mad dash for safety will not result in you being turned gay. It will however keep you from destroying expensive vases and knocking over senior citizens.
4) This next one may come as a surprise; but you are not, in fact, irresistible. The fact that you have a dick does not instantly turn me into a bundle of uncontrolled lust. Contrary to popular opinion, being in the same room with a straight man does not cause a gay man to instantly lose all common sense and basic common courtesy. Though I am not so sure about the reverse.
5) Homosexuals in general get a little irked when people treat us like some sort of leper. Rushing to another mutual friend of ours and advising him of my sexuality, so he could be “forewarned” was really uncalled for.
6) Upon being told (by said mutual friend) to stop being an idiot and that you were not my type anyway… it generally confuses the issue when you then proceed to become upset that I DON’T find you attractive. Three seconds ago you were running through a crowd of people with your hands cupped protectively over your junk as if I might attack you at any moment with a blowjob. See hint number 4.
7) We homosexuals have an odd sense of humor – I can’t help that. Something about watching you freak out as if all the demons of hell were after you just struck me as vastly amusing.
8) While being pissed at me for dissolving into uncontrollable laughter might be understandable… gathering a couple guys together to “teach the fag a lesson” is not.
9) You might also want to drink a little less and be a little more careful about the guys you approach for your little proto-hate-mob.
10) Assuming the two tall muscle-bound bruisers must be uber-hetero and just as appalled by my presence as you was your first mistake. It was an understandable one though. How were you to know that pflag tshirt the first guy was wearing wasn’t a sports team? Also the rainbow ring the second guy was wearing could have meant anything I am sure.
11) In retrospect I suppose that upon hearing your not very subtle hate-talk and seeing who you were heading for; I could have said something instead of just laughing harder. I apologize for that. I should have just introduced you to my husband instead of letting you walk up to him and ask him if he wanted to help you teach “that fag over there” a lesson. I hope that broken nose heals up cleanly.
Dita von Teese in Vegas, June 15th
So yeah, this is the reviewer who can NOT capitalize correctly. cabbage is my life and spelling and capitals, not so much. Not relevant. Most of you are wondering why making love was skipped on the list. i found many things while searching for the correct movie, but i found no movie yet. Rather i found a great deal of “making love” not affiliated with the movie( go figure). while i did find it on my friends netflix, i am locked outta my own to view it. sorry. so gods and monsters was next.
Gods and Monsters was good. As a matter of fact, imbetween 3.5 and 4 stars out of 5. The movie starts off with images of Brendan Frasier as a marine wearing a wifebeater…in a trailer. only movie where i thought he was hot. (minus the trailer) the movie is mostly about the friendship between an older gay officer from the trenches (Magneto!) and his gardener who is straight. while there is tension in the beginning as well as a childish temper tantrum and accusation of attraction, they eventually become friends. the movie is based off the book “father of frankenstein” and if you watch the movie, much will become clear. you will catch many a reference to that book in this and other gay movies (latter days for one). i recommend the movie although I warn those seeking a gay romance- this isn’t one. sorry. It’s also slow, so if that’s not you and you prefer action, not your movie. This is a drama for sure. it goes beyond the gay audience so feel free to watch with friends. just to recap: good, slow, drama, not romance, not overly gay, and “person finds inner power and becomes less conceited” sorta movie. it deserves the spot of rank 48, and definitely fits in the top 50 greatest gay movies.
I FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!
in place of eating out btw (eating out is horrible….) a lot of people i know as well as myself dislike it. Its not horrible (i think so but most dont >:( ) but its NOT ABOVE THE # 50! List updates may be continued…. We LOVE recommendations for movies on the list as well as how to rank them.
And just so you know, all of these movies are being reviewed by a couple of teenagers, so there is a distinct point of view when we watch these and later review them. KEEP THAT IN MIND! If it is difficult for young, queer us to relate to, than we will say so, and it will be reflected in our review(s).
CabbageBlasterJim & allioette
Hello there, fellow denizens of the internet. This is your other reviewer. The one who knows how to use capitalization.
Anyway, I am here to let you know that, unlike the rest of the world, I did not like RENT. I’ve gotta say, though, my other reviewer agreed entirely. Granted, he hates musicals, but I love them. And I watched RENT on basic cable, so it was probably edited all to hell. But. Still. Even “edited for time,” it was entirely too long. That movie seemed to have no direction, it meandered, and really, the only character I felt much of any empathy for was Angel (the drag queen) and coming in at a far second was Tom Collins.
i lied. thats not the final list. transamerica has been replaced with “love songs”
After looking at many lists i ran into this one the Most. ive seen its top three and liked all of those so i decided this was the list. i dont know how im going to get through rent….i hate musicals. (with exception to repo) I will watch two a day every now and again as often as i can ( i <3 netflix) and post my thoughts. after reviewing it i will make my own list and see how close it is. those who wish to follow or comment on the movies, plz do so. wish me luck, i start tommorow. with “Rent” and “Making Love.” if you have reccomendations PM or comment, and NO PORNOS PEOPLE. SERIOUSLY.
1. Brokeback Mountain
2. Beautiful Lie
4. Latter Days
7. Get Real
8. Big Eden
9. The Broken Heart Club
10. The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
11. Long Time Companion
12. Torch Song Trilogy
13. My Beautiful Laundrette
14. Parting Glances
15. Just a Question of Love
16. Mysterious Skin
17. Summer Storm
18. Rocky Horror Picture Show
19. The Birdcage
20. Sordid Lives
21. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
23. All Over the Guy
24. Another Gay Movie
25. Boys in the Band
27. To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
28. Boy Culture
29. The Wedding Banquet
31. My Own Private Idaho
33. The Trip
34. Edge of Seventeen
36. In & Out
37. Eating Out
38. Velvet Goldmine
39. Angels in America
40. Love! Valour! Compassion!
41. The Sum of Us
42. Burnt Money
44. Victor Victoria
46. Yossi and Jagger
47. Bad Education
48. Gods and Monsters
49. Making Love
Taken from a poll taken by AfterElton.com (was sent to it by alot of sites). the site is respected
and based on an actual poll taken.
While I’ve yet to find a reason or value to my blog, I have finally found one. im going to make my way through Fifty of the greatest gay movies: independant that few have heard of, and popular (brokback mountain). im going to go through multiple sites to find these and will post them as i go starting worst to best.
Many have posted top fifty lists and etc. so im going by word of mouth. recomendations welcome. leave a note attached to the post and ill take it into consideration.